Focus on Other People

Whether someone is a good person can be assessed by a number of factors; generosity, charity, service, compassion and selflessness amongst others. However, all measures of goodness come down to one thing, thinking of others before ourselves. You can’t be a good person if you put yourself first, it’s as simple as that.

When you see children you recognise those who have an inherent goodness to them. They are the ones who see another child crying and go to comfort them. They are the ones who help other children when they are having difficulties, either with school work or other tasks like tying shoelaces. They are the ones who don’t push to the front, but instead make sure others get a fair turn. Generally speaking, these children will become good people. Those who cause others to cry, ignore others in difficulties or push people out of the way are inherently bad people and will remain bad people.

As I have mentioned before I believe that our genes are the main determiner of our behaviour and, though it makes some people uncomfortable, I have to say, after years in education at all levels, that some children are just born bad and get worse throughout their lives. The bullies at five years old are still bullies at fifty five years old. The selfish children at five years old are still selfish people at fifty five years old. Basic nature is fixed and ingrained for all but a few. It is as rare for a bad child to become a good adult as it is the other way round. Mind you, in our societies around the world we reward the bad people in terms of money and influence, making them successful politicians and CEOs with a hugely negative effect on the world in general. So, you could argue that the incentive for bad behaviour is far more attractive than the incentive for good behaviour. It’s far more difficult to be good today when you know it won’t be valued by or rewarded by society except by a pat on the head. 

So, be a good person but don’t expect it to benefit you financially or socially. As long as you accept that there are no external rewards you can focus on the internal rewards.