Are you seeking security or adventure?
Firstly, it’s a difficult thing to focus on adventure if you don’t have the financial and/or emotional support to give you the security to do things. Secondly, what is adventure? It means different things to different people. So how have my wife and I approached these competing requirements?
Well, if I look back on our marriage, we have been more adventurous than I realised. Back in 1994 I couldn’t get a job in an English school as an Economics teacher. My wife found the JET Programme advert in the Sunday Times and encouraged me to give it a shot. Neither of us knew a thing about Japan, she had never even been on a plane in her life, we had one child and another on the way. So, you could definitely define that as adventurous, but we needed to have the emotional security to take a chance and give us a chance for financial security. Less than 7 months later I was on the way to Japan, which was utterly unknown to us in those pre Internet days, and 10 months later the rest of my family joined me, my wife having taken her first ever flight with a baby and a toddler. Now that’s adventurous!!
Pretty much everything else has followed on from that initial adventure but one thing has remained, the support and security I find from my family. My latest adventure of leaving full time teaching is in the same vein so watch this space!
What do you think gets better with age?
The fact that I started with a pun that probably only 70s kids will fully understand gives you an idea that I have gone a fair way through the ageing process! It’s fair to say that I am not a fan of many aspects, but I am becoming somewhat more accepting of things I don’t like. What I have had trouble with is embracing the more positive side of things. I am definitely a glass half empty person. However, this prompt has made me think. What do I truly appreciate now that I didn’t before?
All of the events above took place in the last 12 months. I saw Iron Maiden and Taylor Swift at huge concerts. I won a competition for my wife who is a massive Annie Lennox fan to see her at the Royal Albert Hall and have access to the soundcheck. My wife, my youngest daughter and I went to Australia for Christmas and the New Year and celebrated my cousin’s 80th birthday. Finally, I met my first crush, Julie Dawn Cole, for the first time and she was just as lovely as I imagined she would be.
Did I do these things before? Yes, I did, so what’s changed? I suppose it’s the value that I put on my experiences. If I had seen Iron Maiden in my 20s it would have been great, but seeing them recently when I never expected to was extra special. It was a real feeling of being very lucky. The same for Taylor Swift at Wembley and Annie Lennox at the Royal Albert Hall. Just as good as the concerts themselves were the people I was lucky enough to go with, as the opportunity to share music with my family is something that I truly value. My children still want to go to gigs with me and that’s something I never expected to happen. In November, my youngest daughter and I are going to see Wet Leg at the Royal Albert Hall! As one of her friends said, it’s not the type of music you would necessarily expect someone like me to enjoy! Hopefully we can see The Last Dinner Party in 2026.
Going to Australia took me right out of my comfort zone but I managed to finally see the Great Barrier Reef and to see the New Year’s Eve fireworks from a boat on Sydney Harbour. Being so close to the fireworks and to see the natural wonder were incredible. Funnily enough, going to the Film fair to see Julie Dawn Cole was quite nerve wracking because my 7 or 8 year old self was totally star struck, and she is definitely the only person I would get a photoshoot with!
In the months to come I will be walking inside the stone circle of Stonehenge and going to the Christmas Markets in Salzburg. Both of these events will be ones that will mean more to me now than they would have done in my younger years. The years ahead will hopefully see
New experiences with a new mindset
What time do you go to bed and wake up currently?
I got brought up with the idea that staying in bed past a certain time was unacceptable. When I was on scout camp, my Dad, who was our Scout Leader used to wake us up with the greeting, ‘The sun’s burning your eyes out!’ That was the start of the day at 6.45, or even earlier if he thought we needed it! At home, things were little different with any time after 9 being seen as wasting the day!
Of course, that meant that as soon as I moved out of the house late nights and late mornings were both a relief and a rebellion! I would frequently stay in bed past midday on a weekend and I loved the freedom!
Things changed when I became a parent. My bedtime was governed by their age and their requirements so I was back to early mornings and early nights. They then went through the teenage years where they were in bed until later, but I couldn’t change my own schedule by then. Now, whether I am working, on holiday or on the weekend I seldom stay in bed past 6 and I seldom go to bed past 10. I have become like my Dad in terms of waking up but he often had late nights. He must have had more stamina than me!
My bedtime routine is focused around the Calm app and often I will take the three mindful breaths and fall asleep a minute or so later! I am comfortable with my routine but sometimes I go to concerts or plays and feel really daring by coming home after midnight 🤣🤣
What strategies do you use to increase comfort in your daily life?
It’s not often that I feel totally comfortable with life outside of the home but I always do inside. My comfort stems from my wife and children who give me the base I need to feel secure. I don’t go out on my own very often, if at all, because I don’t like being away from the family. If I go out it is almost invariably with one or more of the family. I don’t have friends who I go to see or who I go out for a drink with and I don’t feel like I am missing out.
I do recognise that occasionally comfort can drift into inertia but my own nature goes against that because I find it hard to do nothing. With the security of my family I feel like I can take chances in life, as my recent decision is testament to. They give me the confidence to stretch myself in total safety. I have done so much in life that I would never have done without them, like living in Japan, Hong Kong and Australia. The one time I wasn’t with my family for and extended period was when I lived and taught in Saudi Arabia for six months. That was enough for me as no amount of money a month could compensate for their absence.
Family is everything to me and without them I have no comfort.
On what subject(s) are you an authority?
Christmas has been my favourite time of the year since early childhood and, in the manner of many people on the autistic spectrum, I immediately wanted to know as much about it as possible. I became absolutely obsessed with facts and stories about the festive season. I had a huge love for the story of Christmas and the stories with Christmas at their heart like A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Christmas music was, and remains, my delight and the films and TV specials became part of my Christmas traditions.
Since our children were old enough to understand Christmas I have had even more opportunities to indulge my obsession and I have tried to turn them into Christmas lovers as well, with some success.
I can reel off facts and figures as well as anecdotes, and for the last decade or more have introduced my overseas students to the delight of the festive season. At work I was the expert on Christmas music and the organiser of the Secret Santa.
Some may find my extreme love for this time of the year baffling or worse, but I know that I have an audience of like minded people who appreciate my expertise. Those of you who are interested can find over 50 Christmas related articles on my blog and, for the 4th year, I will be taking part in Blogmas.
Any other Christmas lovers are always welcome on this blog!
David Pearce - Popular Culture and Personal Passions 