What’s a skill you consider basic, that most people don’t actually know how to do?
When I say that cooking is a basic skill, I am talking about simple meals prepared from scratch using a range of ingredients. I was taught to cook by my Dad when I was 9 years old. According to him, if you could read you could cook, and in that he was absolutely right. He also said that if I could cook I could choose for myself whether to move in with a woman rather than having to! At 9 years old that particular observation confused me and went right over my head 🤣. Anyway, over the period of a few weeks he taught me to cook a range of straightforward meals, even leaving me in charge of the deep fat fryer, a health and safety nightmare these days! By the age of 14 I was able to cook a Sunday lunch from scratch and passed one element of my Advanced Scout Standard by doing so. At Scout camps we also learnt to cook over open fires and if you can do that the cooker is the easiest thing in the world to control by comparison.
Over the years I have added countless meals to my repertoire first through following recipes then through adapting recipes and finally through seeing what’s in the cupboard, fridge and freezer and going from there. We hardly ever eat out and when we do I very rarely eat something I couldn’t do better myself. I love cooking as a practical pursuit but I love it even more as an art and a way of putting something on the table for my family. So, get the cooker on, switch on the air fryer or even learn how to use a microwave to cook – yes it’s possible – and enjoy the freedom from take away or eating out it gives you. You may not decide to go beyond basic meals, but you don’t have to once you master this basic skill.
Who is the fictional character you relate to the most?
I have often read A Christmas Carol and thought of Bob as my Victorian counterpart. Work wise he is the everyman of the time. Overworked, dispensable and older than his years. In his day you were dependent on your boss for a good or bad experience and it was overwhelmingly the latter. Things improved for a while when personnel departments were set up to look after the employees in mind, body and spirit. Then the name was changed to human resources and business began moving back to Bob Cratchit’s days as we once more became resources for the firm to use up and wear out for the benefit of shareholders. (End of Rant!)
However, Bob and I share more than that as people. Like Bob, my money is only valuable to keep a roof over my family’s head, food on the table and extra treats for birthdays and especially Christmas! I do spend money on myself but like Bob it is far more rewarding for me to spend money on my family and to see them succeed and be happy. We may not have a hearth and we may not mix up Christmas punch these days but, bar these superficial differences, my family gather round us like his did and give me the same joy and pride.
Do you think everything happens for a reason?
As human beings we have this need to see or impose patterns on our lives. It’s the feeling that a ‘higher power’ does or should somehow have influence over our journey through life. When we have this feeling we often employ the Post Hoc Ergo Procter Hoc fallacy. This is Latin for After it therefore because of it. By using this approach we can see retrospective reasons for things happening which didn’t actually exist at the time.
As an example, I used to apply this fallacy to my first meeting with Janet. I went to work at the Unemployment Benefit Office after a spur of the moment decision to go to the job centre. This happened because I had an argument with my Dad who accused me quite rightly of making no effort to find a job. For many years afterwards I thought that the reason he said something was to get me to go to the job centre at the precise time I needed to so that I would meet Janet. When it’s written down it looks tenuous at best and ridiculous at worst, primarily because it is! What happened was a fortunate and random combination of events that led to our marriage.
It’s actually quite egotistical of us as a species to believe in their being a universe that exists in the form it does because people are moved around like pawns on a chessboard. It ties in, I suppose, with the anthropocentric beliefs that we are a divine creation above and separate from other animals. The truth is that we evolved alongside them and are no different in essence. You might just as well look at Albus, our cat, and see that we were meant to go to Cats Protection on a particular day to choose him. I doubt he sees it like that!
So, be grateful for your good fortune and fight through your bad fortune, but remember it’s all random however much you employ the Post Hoc Ergo Procter Hoc fallacy.
What’s a song lyric that has stuck with you forever?
As someone who has been steeped in music since early childhood, I could not possibly choose one lyric for this prompt. How do you choose between so many songs, thousands upon thousands over the years, and end up with one? The answer to this was actually right in front of me on Sunday night in Canterbury.
The Proclaimers have been a fixture of my musical landscape for the whole of my time with Janet. On our first weekend away I bought a copy of the 12″ single of Make My Heart Fly, a very minor hit that followed their massive debut single Letter from America. It starts with a plea that seemed perfect to my 22 year old self,
Please don't go rushing by. Stay and make my heart fly.
Nearly 40 years later, as I listened to them singing those words in their concert performance the fact that Janet is still there making my heart fly made me quite emotional. Mind you, by then my feelings had been brought to the surface more than once. It started with the marvellous Let’s Get Married, which we did nearly 36 years ago. Some of the lyrics which were nice enough 30 years ago hit home really hard at that concert. For example,
I love you and I want to stay with ya,have kids grow old and grey with ya,hold hands and walk in the park, Let's get married
The fact that all those things have happened, although luckily I’m not quite grey yet (!) brought tears to my eyes as it reminded me of how lucky I have been.
The other song to pick out from the evening is one of their signature tunes, Sunshine on Leith, one of the most beautiful songs ever recorded, lyrically and musically. The tune is sublime from first note to last and the lyrics are breathtaking.
My heart was broken, my heart was broken
Sorrow, sorrow, sorrow, sorrow
My heart was broken, my heart was broken
You saw it, you claimed it
You touched it, you saved it
My tears are drying, my tears are drying
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you
My tears are drying, my tears are drying
Your beauty and kindness
Made tears clear my blindness
While I'm worth my room on this earth
I will be with you
While the Chief puts sunshine on Leith
I'll thank Him for His work
And your birth and my birth
My heart was broken, my heart was broken
Sorrow, sorrow, sorrow, sorrow
My heart was broken, my heart was broken
You saw it, you claimed it
You touched it, you saved it
While I'm worth my room on this earth
I will be with you
While the Chief puts sunshine on Leith
I'll thank Him for His work
And your birth and my birth
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
It’s incredible especially when being sung by everyone in the concert, but what I realised is that those lyrics seem more perfect for our relationship now than when I first heard them in 1988. Thank you to Craig and Charlie Reid for the gift of their music over the past 40 years as they have found the correct words for my relationship with Janet, blending the universal with the deeply personal.
