A Rare Occurrence

Films can make me emotional, but I can’t remember the last one that made me cry. My trips to the cinema are few and far between due to cost and other people’s behaviour. In any case, I don’t watch many films that I think or know are going to be sad. I would prefer a comedy or a romantic film because I don’t enjoy the feeling of sadness that comes from a ‘weepie’ because it feels manipulative. I am more likely to cry at a TV series because I have had more time to care about the characters. Give me a TV show that I have watched regularly and I am more likely to shed a tear. However, in all but a very few cases, my reaction is quite muted. Why is this? Well, I do think that the old approach that we were brought up with of crying being something men don’t do still holds sway.

Looking back on my 70s childhood I remember the idea of male crying being very embarrassing. If you succumbed you would often be shouted at or ridiculed, so you learnt not to do it anywhere you could be seen. I think that leaves most men hardwired to repress emotions, although it is acceptable to express those emotions through football which has always seemed odd. Men who would never be seen crying over anything else will shed tears over their side losing a game or being relegated. It’s always seemed performative to me but then I never really attributed any real importance to the game until I started following Arsenal Women’s Team and the Lionesses. I definitely felt emotional seeing the Lionesses pick up back to back European Championships and also when Arsenal won the Women’s Champions League. I can’t imagine letting lose on the terraces like a lot of supporters though. Boys don’t cry was the phrase that recurred throughout childhood and it seems old habits die hard.