Learning to Adjust

This prompt has hit upon one of the most difficult aspects of no longer working full time. I am not used to the new normal. I am starting to develop a kind of routine but I don’t feel like I ‘justify my existence’ unless I have done something either practical or creative. It is a situation which has arisen because I am very much aware of the fact that I am no longer bringing money into the household on a month by month basis. Accordingly, I feel the need to achieve something every day, even if I am feeling really tired or under the weather. I suppose that all those years of being told that I have to ‘fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run’ are hard to get out of my system. Janet constantly tells me that I am allowed to rest and not do anything, and other people who have been in my situation tell me that it’s a big adjustment when you step off of the treadmill. However, 42 years of working and studying have left their mark.

I was told on regular occasions during my teenage years that I was lazy, both at school and at home, and it was made clear that any day on which I did not do or achieve anything was a wasted day. That isn’t to say that I didn’t have lazy days, but when I did I always felt guilty about it. That feeling has stayed with me and intensified over the years. Now I am not working, I feel like anything that seems to be ‘relaxing’ should provide content for my blog. It’s actually quite good for focus but perhaps not so good in terms of doing something for pure enjoyment.

So, what am I trying to achieve these days? Well, I have been working through the Christmas Magazines from years gone by which will form the cornerstone of my Blogmas posts this year, noting down what is on each page. When I have finished doing that for all my magazines I will look for themes, similarities and differences across the years, highlight them and then reflect on them in the posts. This may sound like a self indulgent project, and perhaps it is, but it is something that will allow me to produce something and then, perhaps, make it into something more substantial over the next few years. I have other posts and projects planned for 2026, but as they say, watch this space!