What have you been putting off doing? Why?
Well, for a start I put off the writing of this post! I had a good reason though. Janet and I went to the Copperjax Stadium to watch the London City Lionesses vs West Ham United in the WSL. It’s only been the past few years that I have started to go to Women’s Football and I have enjoyed it far more than I ever could watching Men’s Football. It’s a game that is played in great spirits and at an increasingly high level of skill. The atmosphere in the crowd is brilliant and totally positive throughout. There is passion for the team you are supporting but none of the aggressive and unpleasant tribalism that makes the men’s game a no go area for me. I am now disinterested in the men’s game at all levels and far more engaged with the women’s game at all levels of the pyramid. Women’s football is the game as it should be on and off the pitch. Give it a go if you haven’t already. Who knows, you might like it.
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
I suppose like anyone I have never felt like I have ever got things completely sussed. If you saw me at work, you could get the mistaken impression that I was fairly sorted in my teaching. The truth, of course, was that I kept making mistakes every time I stepped into the classroom and I never felt like there was a time when I had everything under control. This is true for life in general I think.
At 18, I got my first job. Did I feel like an adult? No way! I was too busy realising that I was unsuitable for the job I had taken. As I mentioned the other day, I joined the RAF at 19. Did I feel like an adult then? Not a chance. I got married at 25. What about then? Still no, as I was still a student! I could go on, but the pattern is clear. At various points I picked up more and more adult skills but never fully felt like one.
Surely things have changed now that I have finished year round teaching? Well, no actually. I am having to completely relearn things about myself and indeed who I am. Janet said something a couple of days ago which really took me aback. She said that I was finally myself again after years of being too preoccupied by work. I couldn’t believe that I had lost sight of myself to that extent, but if I am honest it’s probably because I always felt like I was coming up short in all areas of my life. I have been reading the first two books of Philip Pullman’s Book of Dust trilogy, the final part of which is published this month! In the second book, The Secret Commonwealth Lyra and Pan, her Daemon are estranged because she’s forgotten who she is. That really hit home, because if I had a Daemon I think it would find my approach to life at odds with my real self.
Over the last six weeks I have been trying to reconnect with who I am, and obviously doing so with some success as it has been noticed. However, I still have a long way to go and I will make a number of mistakes along the way, as you do when you are growing up. It’s a work in progress, this journey through life and at heart I will always be the child below who is hoping for the best, learning from mistakes and never quite feeling like he has things sorted.
If you had a million dollars to give away, who would you give it to?
I always thought that if I ever won the lottery I would give away as much as possible once we were financially secure. First in line would be our children who could definitely use the help at their stage of life. We wouldn’t dictate that they used it ‘for the best’ because we can’t say what the best is for them. It might be a holiday, it might be a house deposit, it might be further learning, but whatever it is I would love to give them more freedom to chase whatever goals they have.
Once they are sorted then the rest would go to the charities that are closest to our hearts. Shelter, Young Minds, Prostate Cancer, Dementia Research, Sands, Refuge and Cats Protection. They are important to us for a variety of reasons, both personal and in terms of our values. They would use our donations to further the amazing work that they do. I have linked to the UK sites but why not check out similar charities in your country or the causes closest to your hearts. We may not have a million to give away but we have something, whether it be financial, voluntary work or just making people aware of their existence. Here’s to the amazing people who give their time and talents to those worse off.
What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.
I can’t imagine anything worse than a guarantee that you won’t fail at something. Yes, it’s a superficially appealing idea, but what would be the point of that type of success? Where is the journey through ups and downs, successes and failures? What are you actually achieving if it is pre-ordained that you will succeed?
I remember years ago a teenager who found that everything sporting came naturally to him. By 14 he was playing for his county at cricket and he was playing golf off a two handicap. He could have chosen to focus on either sport and been very likely to succeed. By the age of 16 he had given up both because he found it boring. He didn’t find a challenge in either so it wasn’t of any consequence to him how good he was. The interesting thing was that four of us played a round of golf together once and at the start he was playing badly but you could see how his swing had that flow that the rest of us lacked. I was so bad that I wouldn’t even say I hacked my way round, I made a mockery of the game! Around the turn something clicked and he started playing like the two handicapper he used to be. It was a challenge on that day to get back to where he used to be and he was under par for the back nine. Even as I was melting down I was watching him and thinking that he was poetry in motion on the golf course. If things had been more difficult for him in the early days he could well have turned professional.
So, if I was guaranteed success I wouldn’t do anything because there would be no point. You can only appreciate success if you have failed and picked yourself up. I know that there will be readers of this post who disagree. If you do, give your views in the comments as I would love to look at things from a different perspective.
What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?
I have written about my time in the Royal Air Force in a previous blog post and mentioned my preparation. Looking back on the three or four months before I travelled to RAF Swinderby my determination to be as prepared as possible was completely at odds with my previous approach to life. It was part of my somewhat late growing up process – which I still feel like I am continuing! The issue was whether I could match my famously poor self discipline with the task I had set myself.
Starting was definitely the hardest part, because I hadn’t done any real exercise since leaving school the previous year and I had already developed a very regular pub going habit which played havoc with my concentration and sleeping patterns. I was at home with no real incentive to go out apart from getting away from the atmosphere of disappointment that still pervaded the house after my spectacular crash and burn of my first full time job.
The first ‘run’ was an absolute nightmare. I chose a 2 mile course which was twice round the block and then up to the end of the road and back. Yes, I was out of practice, yes there was a fairly steep hill on the route, but 20 minutes was a pathetic time to take, particularly given how exhausting it was! As I stood in the shower I realised I had two choices. Give up and hope for the best or redouble my efforts. The person I was then should have taken the first option, but something clicked in my mind at that point. I realised that I was going to be pushed to my limit and probably beyond in basic training – although I had no idea how bad it would get at times – and I would have no say in how bad it got. My training, on the other hand, was totally within my control and I owed it to myself to make the best of it.
The whole of that first week was dreadful. I got my time down by about a couple of minutes but I was still nowhere near the 11 minutes for one and a half miles which would see me pass the BFT. The one thing I did, was to get myself into a proper routine. I would get out of bed, get into my tracksuit and trainers and go straight out of the house without even a cup of tea. It’s not something I would recommend, but I knew that if I waited until after breakfast, or even a cuppa, I would have given it a miss. That might not sound like a big challenge to most, but at the time it was huge.
As the weeks and months went by I devised my own approach to the training. I decided that once I had got down to 16 minutes for two miles I would add an extra two miles to my run. I did this and I realised something very quickly. However far I was running I was a metronome! My first mile would take exactly the same amount of time as my fourth mile, and later my sixth mile. I was not capable of speeding up but I was not capable of slowing down either!! 🤣🤣 Timing wise I only needed to concentrate on my first mile and the other three or five would take care of themselves. By the time I went into the RAF I was running 6 minute miles across the 6 mile run. Not a bad rate of improvement I’m sure you would agree.
Those morning runs showed me that I was capable of so much more than I realised but that getting started was my main challenge. I would love to say that I never looked back but that would be utterly untrue, but meeting that personal goal was the start of completely changing myself as a person.
I wonder if I could get back to 6 minute miles with some training?!
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David Pearce - Popular Culture and Personal Passions 