What’s something most people don’t know about you?
This is a really tricky prompt, because I feel like I have been very open on this blog about most aspects of my life and personality. It’s one of the things I think gives my blog an authenticity. So, I suppose I am left with ‘trivia’ for want of a better word.
So here goes – read on at your own risk!
If I had been a girl my parents had chosen the name Jane.
My earliest memory turns out to be at about 6 months old when I somehow fell out of a moving car! I mentioned it to my parents one time and they couldn’t believe I could remember it. Still, it’s probably something that would cut through the early missing memories and embed itself in your brain.
I had my first birthday in India, my second in Pakistan and my third, fourth and fifth in Singapore. It was my sixth birthday before I celebrated in the country of my birth. My youngest daughter has me beaten on that though with her first birthday in the UK, her second in Hong Kong, her third in New Zealand, her fourth in Australia and her fifth back in the UK!
The first single I bought was King of the Cops by Billy Howard. Listening to it now, it’s awful but I loved it as an 8 year old!
I had a squint corrected at the age of 8 or 9. It was only spotted because I had to hold the book I was reading at arm’s length to stop me seeing double.
I never started smoking because in my teens I got a very bad throat infection that kept me off school for three weeks and recurred every winter for years. My GP asked me if I smoked, I said no and he replied that it was just as well as the combination of that and the infection could have killed me!
I did not receive any award or certificate in the whole of my school life. The first certificate I received was at work at the age of 58! I didn’t really value it on the basis that it was too little too late. I suppose I should have done.
I was 22 before I had my first proper girlfriend and we got married three years later. We celebrated our 35th anniversary in September.
I applied for Higher education in 1988 to take Business Studies and was turned down by everyone. Then, I got a call from Staffordshire Polytechnic offering me a place to study Economics at 5 days notice!
When my daughter was 9 she won a competition to toss the coin at the Ladies Singles Final at Wimbledon, so I had the chance to walk on Centre Court before the start of play.
Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?
This prompt has hit upon one of the most difficult aspects of no longer working full time. I am not used to the new normal. I am starting to develop a kind of routine but I don’t feel like I ‘justify my existence’ unless I have done something either practical or creative. It is a situation which has arisen because I am very much aware of the fact that I am no longer bringing money into the household on a month by month basis. Accordingly, I feel the need to achieve something every day, even if I am feeling really tired or under the weather. I suppose that all those years of being told that I have to ‘fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run’ are hard to get out of my system. Janet constantly tells me that I am allowed to rest and not do anything, and other people who have been in my situation tell me that it’s a big adjustment when you step off of the treadmill. However, 42 years of working and studying have left their mark.
I was told on regular occasions during my teenage years that I was lazy, both at school and at home, and it was made clear that any day on which I did not do or achieve anything was a wasted day. That isn’t to say that I didn’t have lazy days, but when I did I always felt guilty about it. That feeling has stayed with me and intensified over the years. Now I am not working, I feel like anything that seems to be ‘relaxing’ should provide content for my blog. It’s actually quite good for focus but perhaps not so good in terms of doing something for pure enjoyment.
So, what am I trying to achieve these days? Well, I have been working through the Christmas Magazines from years gone by which will form the cornerstone of my Blogmas posts this year, noting down what is on each page. When I have finished doing that for all my magazines I will look for themes, similarities and differences across the years, highlight them and then reflect on them in the posts. This may sound like a self indulgent project, and perhaps it is, but it is something that will allow me to produce something and then, perhaps, make it into something more substantial over the next few years. I have other posts and projects planned for 2026, but as they say, watch this space!
When you think of the word “successful,” who’s the first person that comes to mind and why?
When you think of success nowadays, you are affected by what society sees as success. Success in the media is centred on power, money and winning. The people who are successful by that measurement tend to reflect the worst aspects of the human condition. They are selfish, vain, bullying, uncaring and aggressive. You see that in the people who get to the top in politics, media ownership and tech companies. In this world there is no place at the top table for anyone with principles, kindness, understanding or altruism. If they get near the top then they will be brought down by the media or the state or the company.
For me, success is being a good person. Success is making life better for others. Success is doing a good job and learning to do an even better job by picking up ideas from others. Success is sharing your own ideas that might be of benefit to anyone else. Success is making people smile for the right reasons.
None of those measures of success mean anything to people in charge of countries and companies. The new CEO who comes in saying that they value and want to work with their staff to improve the conditions soon shows their true colours. If it turns out they aren’t pretending to value the ideas of their staff, and are actually interested in changing the way things work, the board will soon oust them to ensure that the status quo is protected.
Human nature being what it is, the worst amongst us will rise to the top through cheating, bullying and lying. They will be seen as successful by society in general, but true success lies in making a life that gives others the chance to find success of their own. I just wish more people realised this.
What makes a good neighbor?
On the surface I probably don’t come across as a neighbourly person in terms of the people who live on either side of me. I will say hello to them when I see them, which is actually quite infrequently, and in the case of one, will chat for a bit about the weather or something like that! However, if either of them were in trouble I would try to help if I was able to. My approach to those on either side is a sort of benign ignorance of their lives, but they are fellow human beings and if they are struggling I would want to help.
My definition of neighbour is much wider, because of my Christian, with a big and a small ‘c’ upbringing. Anyone who comes into my life in whatever way should be my neighbour. I used to love to listen to the parable of The Good Samaritan because his type of practical, unshowy type of neighbourlyness chimed with my personality even then. I tended to shy away from small talk, and still do. I would not ‘walk by on the other side’ if someone was in need, but I would also not exchange many words beyond those that may be necessary. I like to adopt a practical approach to other people and keep all but a few at arm’s length in terms of getting to know them. It may make me seem a bit distant at times but it suits me. When I reflect on the impact that early church going and the Scouting movement has had on my approach to life, I realise that it goes far deeper than I realised. Bob-a-Job week was about being a neighbour. Clearing up after a camp or helping to clean up an area on a campsite was being a good neighbour, giving to charity as often as possible is being a good neighbour, being ready to help other people is being a good neighbour.
For me, the way to be a good neighbour boils down to being there when you are needed and being unobtrusive at all other times.
What could you try for the first time?
Since I first decided I was finishing full time work all year round, I wanted to look for new ideas, new passions, new ways of approaching life. However, one thing has always been in my way, the fear of failure.
We are told very early on that ‘if at first you don’t succeed try try again’ and this, for me at any rate, was illustrated by the folk tale of Robert the Bruce and the spider. The story goes that he saw a spider in a cave where he was hiding and watched it spinning a web. The web kept breaking but the spider kept at it and was rewarded at the end. Robert then went out of the cave and defeated the English at Bannockburn!
Unfortunately, what was good enough for 14th Century Scots is no longer good enough for modern life. Now, if you fail, you are pilloried and criticised for a lack of effort. Human nature does not appreciate or tolerate failure in any situation. This starts from the earliest time it can, when babies are expected to hit a particular point of development at, for example 6 weeks old. If they don’t, it’s either a problem with them or the parents. Once they are in education they need to succeed first time or they and the teachers are criticised. There is no patience with or compassion for those who don’t succeed first, or occasionally, second time round.
This approach of ‘we don’t like losers’ is all pervading in politics, work, play and education. Turns out that it’s even there after you step away from the system. I would love to try art, and I was determined to start giving it a go. Sadly, there is this voice in my head saying, ‘It’s never going to be good enough’. The same goes for a number of things I want to try. Turns out, the first step to a new lifestyle or new experiences is trying to tune out that voice. It’s going to be a slow process but recognising where human nature sabotages you before you start is the first step to removing that barrier.
David Pearce - Popular Culture and Personal Passions 