You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?
If I get any really big news the first thing I do is tell my wife. I couldn’t imagine telling anyone else first, unless there is some ‘admin’ to take care of. So, if it was work related I would tell any colleagues that needed to know and sort out emails but then I would tell her.
Having said that, virtually everything that would count as big news besides competition wins has almost certainly been her idea in the first place. Rethinking my life is very much her area and I trust her judgement completely. We have made pretty much every big move, either geographically, professionally or personally based on her judgement and foresight and she has never steered me wrong. Yes, I make my own decisions but they tend to be on a smaller scale. Our marriage is a very strong partnership and I can’t imagine having a better one.
Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?
It’s very easy to do things because they are habits and it’s very easy to do things because you think you should. In many ways it’s far more difficult to ditch things that you used to like but have outgrown or fallen out of love with. There is, however, this thing called life that happens when you are busy making other plans! That will either change your priorities or make it impossible to carry on with those things you used to do.
Many years ago I was an epic pub goer, drinker and socialiser. One year, my best friend, Gavin, and I decided that we were going to drink together every single day of the year! We actually kept to it 😂😂 I shudder to think how many units of alcohol I imbibed in that year or indeed in the years around it. I have mentioned before that my drinking days were ended because we couldn’t afford it. Now, even if I buy myself alcohol, it sits there in the fridge or out in the garage until, usually, someone else drinks it! I have become so unused to the taste of alcohol that I really only look forward to a really decent port, but really decent ports cost a fair amount so I can never quite justify the price, especially now I’m not working. Do I miss it? Not at all, if I’m honest. I have completely lost the urge to drink and it will take something very unusual to trigger it.
Another element of my old self that I have lost is my ability to want to connect with people outside of the safety of my own house! Yes, that’s partly driven by the fact that I don’t go to the pub anymore, but there’s more to it than that. Over the years I have become more and more used to spending my time at home and going out just seems like a huge effort. My hearing has become less and less sharp over the past decade and when I am in a social setting I often struggle to hear other people and I am forced to ask for repetition, rely on context, guess or nod and smile in the hope that it is the right reaction! I used to try putting my hearing aid in, but I realised that all this did was to amplify all noise, not the specific noise I wanted to hear. Conversation was just as difficult, just far louder and more disorientating! Along with my Asperger’s it makes social situations a huge amount of effort and I often end up feeling like it’s work not pleasure, however much I would normally enjoy the company. After a social event I need to decompress and ensure that I get back to ‘normal’ before I can even think about it again. The tiredness I feel is the same as if I have done something physical as I have to really concentrate the whole time.
I wonder if that is part of the reason why I became so much more impatient and irritated teaching face to face so much in my last couple of years? Perhaps 20 hours of enforced ‘socialising’ a week just drained my battery far more quickly as I got older. Maybe the students stayed broadly the same and it was me who changed significantly. Whatever the reason I look back on my last couple of years and feel like I owe some of my classes an apology for the times I lost my temper.
What’s your favorite candy?
When I was 7 years old, my parents moved us to the small village of Cobham in Kent. They went there to take up the running of a sweet shop called The Candy Box. I have some fairly strong memories of that time and some of them revolve around the sweets that were sold.
My favourite chocolate bar at the time was Country Style, a raisin and biscuit bar from Cadbury which I absolutely loved. When people talk about their favourite childhood chocolate, it’s one that is never mentioned and one that hardly anyone else seems to remember, as it was discontinued before the days when campaigns were launched by fans to keep production going. It was packaged in a pink gingham wrapper and I even loved the look of that.
Nowadays I couldn’t even look at chewing gum, because I can’t stand the texture of it. Actually, I don’t think I ever liked it, but the company that produced one make had the perfect selling point for me, football cards.
This was back in the 1972/73 season which was when I really started to watch and read about the game. My Dad absolutely detested the sport. He found the foul play and the whole atmosphere completely unbearable. I honestly can’t imagine what he would think about today’s game with its cheating and play acting. Actually I can, because I find the players in the male game appalling and only have an interest in Women’s Football because, at the moment, it is a game that is still played in a sporting manner. I really hope that continues even if players like Trinity Rodman want to see more nastiness and cheating. Well, here in the UK we definitely don’t so I hope she stays away from the WSL!
Where was I? Although we only had highlights of 5 or 6 games a weekend, the players became an integral part of my life. I had my favourite players, like Peter Osgood, the striker who played for my favourite team Chelsea, but I was never guided by the team they played for and I grew to like players across the league because of the way they played. When I opened the packet I often just threw the chewing gum away as it was just the cards I was interested in!
In terms of small sweets I liked Flying Saucers, Fruit Salad chews and Rhubarb and Custard sweets. They were all a couple of pence for a quarter pound and when I bought some it was often to share with my best friend at the time, Lucy. She would usually buy some as well so we would have half a pound of sweets to get through between us. It never seemed to take long to eat them all!
There is only one bar that I loved then that is still around and which I still eat. Milky Bar is a white chocolate confectionery which doesn’t really have more than a physical resemblance to chocolate, but it’s the taste of my childhood and will take me right back to those days. I can still see The Candy Box and summer days spent with Lucy. I wonder what happened to her?
Do you need a break? From what?
I genuinely can’t remember any time in my life when the news has been so relentlessly depressing. You have, perhaps, the worst leader of any major country in my lifetime. I mean, there have been some bad ones and some awful ones, but he breaks new ground every day. He’s actually turned me away from the entire population of his country, because they either voted for him or didn’t try hard enough to stop him.
You see, this is the issue. I go into ‘rant mode’ when I watch the news. If it isn’t the Mango Moron, it’s the fact that there is barely a decent human being with money or power on the planet. It’s a planet that’s dying because the leaders of so many countries and the people within those countries want it to. They don’t care about catastrophic climate change as long as they can sit in front of their TV and get everything delivered. Yes, I am ranting again!
Looking at the world as a whole I have never been so negative about it’s present or future and that is saying something. I would love for the news to be banned for a month and for those people who populate and poison my screen to be denied the oxygen of publicity. If anyone remembers the derivation of that phrase you will get an idea of who I equate pretty much every modern politician to. If not, pop the phrase into the search bar.
So, there you have it. I need a break from the news, and while I have you here I will tell you my own theory about the news. When we went from 3 news bulletins a day to 24 hour news was when everything in the world started to get worse because the nature of 24 hour news requires it. Instead of real news we got speculation, talking heads and barely disguised hatred for anything and everything filling up the day. If anyone had an extreme view they were rushed onto screen at the expense of people who were thoughtful, intelligent and moderate. Once that happened the extremists gathered pace and the rest is history.
When I restarted this blog, just under 4 years ago, my first post was The Sound of Silence which recounted my experience of dealing with deafness. It was about 6 months that time for reasons that I went into in the article. This time round will be a short visit of about a week or so, with a syringing at the GPs surgery booked for next Wednesday. This is particularly fortunate as I have a play to go to with my daughter on Wednesday evening and an interview booked on Thursday morning!
When it happened first time, I was completely disorientated as I had never experienced anything like it before, and I was worried about how I would cope with my teaching. Now, I was lucky because my teaching was fully online and I could hear and communicate through my headset when on the computer and by the time I went back face to face the situation had been sorted out. This time, I have no teaching which is lucky because if I was face to face in a classroom I simply would not have been able to do my job. I would have had to go off sick and my colleagues would have borne the brunt. With no one relying on me at work, and the household not relying on my earnings, I have been more relaxed and more able to put things into perspective. So, what are my reflections this time with the benefit of experience?
I suppose the first thing is that I realise I can cope as I have done so before. The TV has subtitles, which I tend to use anyway, but which are an absolute boon for anyone who is hard of hearing. Actually, watching sport has become more pleasurable as I don’t have to put up with the awful commentators these days! Honestly, there isn’t a single one anywhere near the standard of those I grew up with in the 70s and 80s. Either they never shut up or they make comments that are so simplistic they are an insult to your intelligence. Obviously, music is out, but as it’s for a short time I can deal with it. WhatsApp allows my wife and daughter to send me messages to circumvent the process of repeating themselves or using semaphore! I can use the phone on loudspeaker in my house, though not outside because I detest everyone who does that whether on public transport or in the street! It really is the height of rudeness. We don’t want to listen to your music, TV show, film, game or conversation so show some consideration! Where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself?! I do use the self checkout at my local Tesco from time to time, but today it was a real benefit and it made me think of people who, for whatever reason, would find it stressful to go through a regular checkout. It’s not an innovation without its drawbacks, but it really can reduce your dependence on others. I am finding Duolingo more difficult particularly when you have to identify the sound or word spoken! To be honest, it’s a guess half the time, and I’m about 50/50 these days. Calm is fine because it isn’t always a necessity to follow every word. It’s more about the feeling of relaxing and working with your breath.
One thing I have noticed is that I am much more likely to sleep through the night because, of course, nothing disturbs me. Oddly, I think that Albus has realised that I can’t hear, because the last couple of nights he has jumped up on me in bed because I can’t hear him scratching the runner in the hallway which usually works very well! I am sleeping more soundly anyway because my new exercise routine of two days dumbbell exercises followed by a day of Yoga to help with my currently appalling balance, is definitely making me more tired as I get used to it. (More details on that when I do my look back at February.) I am also reading at different times of the day once I get bored of silent television, which is good for me in terms of less screen time and more relaxation.
Looking back at what I’ve just written, I realise I am making it sound like a bit of a breeze. It definitely isn’t. It’s frustrating, isolating to an extent and a real nuisance in terms of keeping up with what’s going on around me. I am doing things that don’t require spoken communication, and when you lose the ability to interact that way, you really notice it. If I was facing six months of this like last time I would no doubt be much less sanguine. Once again, it makes me realise what a gift the sense of hearing is. Without it, we live quiet isolated and sadder lives.
David Pearce - Popular Culture and Personal Passions 