No Panacea

With the exception of knowing that I would eventually meet Janet and have a life where I taught abroad and we raised four children together, nothing would have done especially at the age of 11 when I went to Secondary school.

The things I would have liked to know to prepare myself were things like people never change. I firmly believe that you are born with your basic nature genetically encoded into you. Things happen to adjust things to a certain extent but it’s definitely an unshakeable part of your DNA which controls your action and attitude to any situation in life. Let’s take bullies as an example. They are often excused by coming from a situation where they themselves have been bullied. If that’s the case, why doesn’t every child from a difficult home bully others? It’s simple. You are genetically a bully or you’re not. Children don’t have guardrails and so the tendency to bully is at it’s nastiest and most damaging when they are children. A childhood bully becomes an adult bully because people don’t change their basic nature. They may be more subtle about it and in some cases it is less likely to occur, but the tendency will always be there because society rewards bullies. They make them Presidents, Prime Ministers, CEOs or give them other areas of responsibility. Their calling card is a lack of compassion for those beneath them and society gives them every opportunity to indulge that lack of compassion.

When you meet someone who is a bad person when you are younger you need to know that they can never fully change. I wouldn’t have been saved pain by knowing that but I would have been far better prepared for life in general.