Getting older
What’s something you used to worry about but don’t anymore?
When I was a child I lived in a household where the ageing process was seen as something threatening, especially by my Dad. He did everything he could to keep that process at bay, but what he feared came to pass when he died far too young at the age of just 60. I took that fear on board and ran with it.
I dreaded my 50th birthday like it was some sort of omen of doom. Looking back, I think the process started in earnest after I reached 40, and from then on I dreaded each birthday as I moved one year on. I spoilt so many birthdays and wasted so many opportunities for fun with my family and that was entirely on me. The children never had a birthday with me that was fun for them and I really regret that now. One of my colleagues at INTO St George’s found out it was my birthday when my daughter came to the centre to meet me for a birthday trip one year. She told me I was being selfish not just in keeping my birthday secret from work colleagues but also not wanting to celebrate it at all. As she so rightly pointed out, other people wanted to celebrate my birthday and I should just accept it. It took me many more years to put that into practice.
Last year was my 60th, and I would never have admitted that publicly before then but I marked this one by making it a real turning point and resigning from my job! This year, I was taken to The Crystal Maze Experience in London and the whole family played as a team and absolutely smashed it!! It’s too late to make up for the wasted birthdays of years gone by, but however many are left in front of me are going to be savoured from now on.
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David Pearce - Popular Culture and Personal Passions 
I am happy to keep mine to myself really as I get older. I don’t dread it exactly but know what you mean – I suppose it’s a case of not wanting to be reminded one is getting older. Then again, I do want to mark/celebrate it with my immediate family. Unfortunately, my wife seems to have never quite got used to the concept of birthday cards as it was not something she grew up with. I therefore have had to remind/nag her to get one for me, which I must admit feels rather pathetic (a bit like begging). We always do something, but the birthday card thing is slightly annoying. Imagine, however, if we didn’t have anyone who wanted to celebrate with us at all, or even knew it was our birthday. Am sure we would then yearn for a celebration of some kind or at least a birthday greeting. So, I reckon that as long as we are alive and there are other humqm beings who are celebrating us every year, it is really quite a wonderful thing. I still don’t want to shout it from the rooftops though.
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I absolutely agree with you about not shouting it from the rooftop! I know that last year was the turning point as I said, but I must have wanted to change before then. You are so right about being lucky to have people who want to celebrate with me and I do value that.
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I recently turned 50. I fear getting older, mainly because none of the men on my Dads side have made it to or past 70. So that question of “how long have i got?” is still there.
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I was like that until I went past my Dad. When I became a day older than he was something changed. I suppose I realised that I was lucky to be able to still be around.
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When I finally realized that fear is nothing more than a thief that was robbing me of living my best life, my life and how I experienced it began to change. Fear still pops its little head up every now and then to see if it can find a way in, but I’ve gotten much better at sending it on its way. Congratulations on deciding to acknowledge your birthdays. They are indeed milestones worthy of celebration.
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