Embracing Life After Full-Time Work: A New Journey Begins

To date I have looked back at the end of each month in this series ‘Life after full time work’. For my May entry, however, I will be looking forward. What lies ahead this year, and how might that shape my approach to this stage of my life?

Well, the first thing that lies ahead is my volunteering as a reading helper for Coram Beanstalk. After a necessarily in depth application, vetting and training period I am ready to make my first visit to the school that will be hosting me for at least the next year. I feel as though I will be a good fit for the role, but I can’t be sure until I am in situ delivering my sessions. I have experience of teaching roles that have proved difficult so I am aware of the signs to look for. At the moment though I am looking ahead in the expectation that this will become an important aspect of my life for the next few years.

This month I will also learn what lies ahead in terms of paid work. I am pretty much guaranteed work with the RCA but I don’t know when it might start and how many weeks it will be for. It’s always a slightly unsettling period because I am well aware that the paid work I do is what will give us the leeway to go on holiday or pay for home improvements or cover unexpected expenses. We can work within our limitations of one income, otherwise I would not have taken the decision I have, but whatever I can contribute will make life that bit more comfortable.

One thing I am going to have to work on is my attitude to this new stage of my life. I can’t shake off a lingering sense of not contributing to the household. Janet is always at pains to point out that I contribute in areas such as healthy cooking and making her time away from work more relaxing, but the capitalist imperative of money making as the be all and end all is very difficult to shake off. I know that I am probably more concerned with this element of my new lifestyle than I should be, and I know that to get the full value from my efforts to recalibrate I need to shake this off, but it’s going to be difficult. I am working on my physical health and using the Calm App to develop my ability to relax, reflect and react with mindfulness, but I can’t help feeling that to some extent these efforts are self indulgent. We would like to go on retreat at some point to allow me to be alone with my thoughts and to allow some element of spirituality back into my life. I feel that doing this would help me to put this period of adjustment into its proper perspective.

Another thing that I am trying to put into practice is a daily or weekly routine, something that volunteering and work will definitely help with in the short term. At the moment I am trying to impose this kind of routine on myself and to be frank it’s not working. Looking ahead I may try to be guided by my instincts a bit more, because I may be working against myself at the moment. The problem with a routine is that it’s a leftover from my previous life and it is not really compatible with my new life. It’s connected to the 40 plus years of life where the work that I have done has been guided by the job I am doing for someone else. Perhaps if I regard myself as my own employer and listen to what that employer wants from me I will be able to make more progress. It would mean accepting that some days will be less productive than others and that I need to be very aware of hints that my mind and body are giving me.

So, that’s where I am at present. It’s quite difficult to look ahead with so many imponderables, but look ahead I must. When I get caught in the day to day I find myself becoming discontented, disorientated and frustrated. When I look ahead I do so with trepidation, confusion and uncertainty. However, I am now convinced that it is only through working my way through all the doubts that I will truly make the most of what lies ahead. Wish me luck!