Keeping My Focus

This year I am in the process of changing in a number of ways. I am trying to improve my fitness, start volunteering for a couple of organisations and reducing my spending drastically to take into account my new status as a non earning member of society. The first one only started at the beginning of February following a January during which I was down with a constant series of colds. The second and third got under way at the start of the year. At present, all three appear to be on track, but you would expect that in the early part of the year. In six months, however, I have no idea how things may look. I know that life has a habit of throwing curve balls at me, so I am never complacent, but I appear to be much more nervous about things this year.

It is easily explained, I suppose, by the massive change in lifestyle that I have undergone and the urge to feel useful and relevant as I navigate a totally new way of being. However, at the moment there’s more to it than that, as I have my six month check up with the urologist in two days time as I write. I was referred after my PSA level spiked, but on retesting I was back to a much lower level. If I am lucky, that lower level will be maintained and I can get on with planning everything above and more. If not, it will throw a big spanner in the works, and I will have to reassess. There is nothing that is telling me that I could have a higher level and nothing to suggest that it is more likely than not. However, I have more time at home and alone with my thoughts, which seem to be more extensive and intrusive.

Maybe that’s why so many people, men in particular, seem to be uncomfortable in retirement, especially early on. I think you have to adapt physically, mentally, emotionally and existentially to the new normal and it’s not easy. I can imagine that if I let it take me down rabbit holes, which can be my natural habitats (!) it will mean I run the risk of letting my current early progress stall or even go into reverse. That’s why, whatever happens, whatever challenges I face, mentally or physically, I must keep my focus on progress. The better that focus is now, the better the years ahead can be.