Revisiting the Sound of Silence

When I restarted this blog, just under 4 years ago, my first post was The Sound of Silence which recounted my experience of dealing with deafness. It was about 6 months that time for reasons that I went into in the article. This time round will be a short visit of about a week or so, with a syringing at the GPs surgery booked for next Wednesday. This is particularly fortunate as I have a play to go to with my daughter on Wednesday evening and an interview booked on Thursday morning!

When it happened first time, I was completely disorientated as I had never experienced anything like it before, and I was worried about how I would cope with my teaching. Now, I was lucky because my teaching was fully online and I could hear and communicate through my headset when on the computer and by the time I went back face to face the situation had been sorted out. This time, I have no teaching which is lucky because if I was face to face in a classroom I simply would not have been able to do my job. I would have had to go off sick and my colleagues would have borne the brunt. With no one relying on me at work, and the household not relying on my earnings, I have been more relaxed and more able to put things into perspective. So, what are my reflections this time with the benefit of experience?

I suppose the first thing is that I realise I can cope as I have done so before. The TV has subtitles, which I tend to use anyway, but which are an absolute boon for anyone who is hard of hearing. Actually, watching sport has become more pleasurable as I don’t have to put up with the awful commentators these days! Honestly, there isn’t a single one anywhere near the standard of those I grew up with in the 70s and 80s. Either they never shut up or they make comments that are so simplistic they are an insult to your intelligence. Obviously, music is out, but as it’s for a short time I can deal with it. WhatsApp allows my wife and daughter to send me messages to circumvent the process of repeating themselves or using semaphore! I can use the phone on loudspeaker in my house, though not outside because I detest everyone who does that whether on public transport or in the street! It really is the height of rudeness. We don’t want to listen to your music, TV show, film, game or conversation so show some consideration! Where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself?! I do use the self checkout at my local Tesco from time to time, but today it was a real benefit and it made me think of people who, for whatever reason, would find it stressful to go through a regular checkout. It’s not an innovation without its drawbacks, but it really can reduce your dependence on others. I am finding Duolingo more difficult particularly when you have to identify the sound or word spoken! To be honest, it’s a guess half the time, and I’m about 50/50 these days. Calm is fine because it isn’t always a necessity to follow every word. It’s more about the feeling of relaxing and working with your breath.

One thing I have noticed is that I am much more likely to sleep through the night because, of course, nothing disturbs me. Oddly, I think that Albus has realised that I can’t hear, because the last couple of nights he has jumped up on me in bed because I can’t hear him scratching the runner in the hallway which usually works very well! I am sleeping more soundly anyway because my new exercise routine of two days dumbbell exercises followed by a day of Yoga to help with my currently appalling balance, is definitely making me more tired as I get used to it. (More details on that when I do my look back at February.) I am also reading at different times of the day once I get bored of silent television, which is good for me in terms of less screen time and more relaxation.

Looking back at what I’ve just written, I realise I am making it sound like a bit of a breeze. It definitely isn’t. It’s frustrating, isolating to an extent and a real nuisance in terms of keeping up with what’s going on around me. I am doing things that don’t require spoken communication, and when you lose the ability to interact that way, you really notice it. If I was facing six months of this like last time I would no doubt be much less sanguine. Once again, it makes me realise what a gift the sense of hearing is. Without it, we live quiet isolated and sadder lives.