Avoid the Obvious
What is the greatest gift someone could give you?
When thinking about gifts that could change our lives, my mind tends towards financial gifts. That is because we have never been particularly affluent, although thanks to my wife we are comfortable enough to be able to afford me the opportunity to slow down. However, security comes from more than gifts or lottery wins. It comes from the freedom to do what you have always dreamed of.
The greatest and most important gift that someone could give me would be self confidence. It’s something I have never had and it’s something that I know has held me back over the years. I can have lots of people telling me that I am good at what I do but I am unlikely to believe it. A number of my former friends and colleagues have, or appeared to have, iron clad self confidence and they have got much further in their careers than I ever could. I know my career could have been much more successful if I had believed in myself more. Unfortunately it is a way that the brain works that is, I believe, innate. If you are a self confident person you will assume that if something goes wrong, it’s nothing to do with you because you are brilliant. I have met many of those people over the years and they succeed while the people with them stay put.
So, if my fairy godmother is listening, even at this late stage, I want iron clad self confidence please, together with an apology for waiting so long before giving it to me!
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David Pearce - Popular Culture and Personal Passions 
There’s also the damage done by completely misplaced confidence. I am sure you’ve had students who feel they don’t need to put in the effort at something when – in reality – this is one of the things keeping them back. I suppose then the main thing is just to know when we are actually good at something – and then having the confidence to actually be confident about it. If people are telling you you’re good at things, then it’s generally a good indicator that you ought to have some modicum of confidence about them. That said, I must admit I always thought you were a rather confident person, but just didn’t project it too much as you thought it wasn’t the done thing (which it isn’t). My issue is a little diiferent to yours in that I don’t really have a problem where I see I am good at something (I could actually reign in the confidence a bit there). However, I do tend to write myself myself off where I am not so good. I suppose the trick would be to have the confidence that I could do better, and then face up to the fear/hard work of actually improving. Perhaps this is something to work on for the new year, provided I can find the confidence to do it of course.
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I think your final part is very interesting. Perhaps that’s the secret. Well, good luck to both of us!
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