The ‘A Girl’ trilogy by Jessica Taylor-Bearman Book Reviews

Over the last few years I, and many others, have followed the journey of Jessica Taylor-Bearman as she has battled the severest form of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E.) possible. In the three books she has written, she takes us from the teenager whose active life is brought to a shocking halt, to a young woman whose determination to survive and thrive despite the ups and significant downs of health has inspired so many people around the world. I will introduce you to the three books, which you should read from the start to get the full story in all its complexity. I will try to avoid giving you too many spoilers, because Jessica’s story needs to be read to be believed at times. I should say that it is an incredibly difficult read at times as the medical emergencies are exacerbated by the attitudes of some of the professionals working with her. It is, however, ultimately uplifting as you see the triumph of the human spirit over adversity.

A Girl Behind Dark Glasses

This first book starts out with a pre-M.E. Jessica, a very effective decision on the older Jessica’s part as it sets the shocking decline into perspective. This is the story of a girl who was going to become successful in life if that life had progressed in a conventional manner. Clever, kind, popular, mischievous and determined, Jessica was blossoming until just before her 15th birthday. That was the point at which the M.E. started to take control, and the gradual worsening of her condition is communicated to her diary, who she christened Bug, and knowing what is about to happen, both the decline of her health and the person she was before the M.E. are brought into poignant focus. When she is eventually admitted to hospital, her condition is life threatening, with the weight dropping off of her because she is no longer able to eat, and her eyesight failing due to the weakness in even those muscles. Once her body has completely failed her, she is hospitalised, with dark glasses to protect her from the light, and a feeding tube to ensure she gets adequate nutrition. The number of times she is on the point of death in this first book is quite simply staggering, as is the lack of compassion from a large proportion of medical staff, particularly the Doctors, for whom M.E. stands for More Excuses. It is not just a shocking account, it is an account that often makes the reader angry, so the effect on Jessica and her family can only be imagined. The family are also frightened, angry, and mourning the loss of their energetic livewire of a daughter, but they keep fighting for her against a system that seems determined to fail her. She is determined not to let the illness, or that system, beat her and, remarkably, she sets up a charity called Share A Star from her hospital bed. It is a charity that has now ceased operations, but the impact that it had in the 13 years it was in operation has been incredible

A Girl In One Room

The first book covers the first four years of Jessica’s battle, hospitalised and unable to do anything for herself, and this second book picks up the story with her health having stabilised to the extent that she can now be looked after at home. It is still a frightening situation for Jessica and her family, but at least she is home. It is perhaps not surprising that the recovery is anything but smooth, and on occasions she is rushed back into the hospital in a critical condition. She makes it clear that there were times when her chances of survival were anything but certain, and although you know that she will survive, the immediacy of the writing makes you fear for her on every occasion. In a turn of events that no one, perhaps least of all Jessica, was expecting, an online friendship blossoms into something more with a young man called Samuel. It is clearly going to be a difficult relationship to navigate, but in typical Jessica style she is determined to make it work somehow. It means that this part of the story ends on a high note.

A Girl Beyond Closed Doors

The way that this story develops is, to some extent, similar to the other two books. The same themes of determination, battling against the odds, continuing health scares and the entrenched attitudes of the medical professionals caring for Jessica are all present. However, with Jessica being more active and healthier, the setbacks are more frustrating and there is an undercurrent of anger as she reflects on the way she is treated, especially as she finds herself back in the medical system in a way she can’t possibly have expected. There are some incredible highs amongst the lows with a garden party at a famous London location being perhaps the highest. When you reflect on how the story started, the way it finishes in this third book is almost miraculous. Put it this way, if it was a novel, you would say it’s too far fetched! As with all of the books, Jessica’s indomitable spirit shines through, occasionally with anger but more often with humour and a love for life.

Catching Up with Jessica’s Story

Jessica has published all three books with Hashtag Press, an independent publishing house specialising in books from authors representing diverse and marginalised voices. If you want to read more about her incredible story you can go to their website and buy them directly from the shop rather than through your more usual channels to support this forward thinking and inclusive publisher. You can also get right up to date with Jessica’s story by following her on Twitter or Instagram as she continues to defy the odds.